Balance

Have you even gone searching for something specific that the hunt becomes an obsession? I’ve been looking for a specific book. This book that will somehow improve a lot of things and make my life a whole lot better. For months I’ve been searching bookstores, kalahari.net, amazon and expos to no vail. Then last week I found a copy at the library. Hallelujah!

I read through it and couldn’t wait to start experimenting and putting all the ideas I had on paper or canvas. Then Saturday evening came, a time I had set aside to paint. Exciting...right?

2 hours later I grudgingly packed everything away and accepted that there was no colour smearing to be done tonight. As much as I wanted to paint, my heart was simply not into it. My aching body needed to rest a bit and as for my head...it was running a blank.

And I knew why. It has nothing to do with procrastination. 

My whole being was out of sync. A week (or 2) of overindulging in bar-one ice-cream, burgers, pizza, coke and other stuff left me feeling sluggish, sick and a little feverish. It doesn’t help that  I haven’t been exercising and that Morgan Spurlock’s puke in Super Size Me kept playing in my head everytime I took a bite of that cake.

My head was physically attached to my neck but I had no idea what was there half the time. As for my spirit, one can only imagine. Scraping pots instead of dipping a brush into paint seemed more interesting and fun.

As I was packing everything away I thought about balance. Black and White, Hot or Cold, In and Out. It made me realise that outside the science lab, harmonious balance is harder to reach if the lines between are rigid. Look at racial segregation for example (couldn’t think of anything else right now), its causes more problems than solutions, it limits our mindsets, inhibits progress and creates ignorance. 

Everything is interconnected. The beauty about balance is that if different elements come together and work harmoniously, then something new and beautiful can come out of it. In my case, I need to get my body sorted out ASAP so my head can clear and I can focus on deeper meaning and the tasks at hand. Once all these elements start working together  I can take control and be free of this wretched dread.

This may seem contradictory to the quote I put at the top...just start doing what you love even if the conditions aren’t perfect. However, I’m not giving up or giving in. Like the AA serenity prayer, I think I know the difference between what I can’t and what I can change at this very moment.

Hello Sunday Morning, a new day to start afresh.